


Kids These Days

by white_russian



Series: Prompted AUs [8]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 13:17:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6117604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/white_russian/pseuds/white_russian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i woke up this morning to find you sitting in my living room with a goat in a poncho??? who are you??? why is the goat wearing a poncho??? how did you get the goat in here i live on the 12th floor???<br/>prompt by angiespeggy</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kids These Days

Lexa wasn't a seven am person despite what many people believed. There were just certain aspects in her life that led her to be a seven am person, despite her hatred for the lack of sleep it gave her. In order to cope with her constant morning sleepiness, Lexa had developed a routine of sorts. Get up, drink a glass of water in the bathroom, pee, go to the kitchen for food and coffee, brush her teeth, brush her hair, check the clock, makeup maybe, put on clothes, and leave. Everything was timed pretty perfectly, with the exception of certain slight abnormalities. 

Such slight abnormalities did not include the presence of a fucking goat in a goddamn poncho sitting next to a girl wearing no pants but shoes. 

Naturally, Lexa screamed. This of course only set the goat into a panic, prompting the pants-less girl, who had previously been smiling drunkenly at it and booping its nose, to panic as well. Lexa kept screaming as the girl screamed back, both of them just staring at each other.

"WHO ARE YOU?" Lexa finally yelled.

In response the girl just yelled back "YOU'RE NOT MONTY."

Lexa took a deep breath, obviously this girl wasn't here to kill her. Besides, screaming this early in the morning was really impolite to the neighbors. She did, however, take several steps backwards.

"Who are you, why is there a goat, and how did you get into my apartment?"

The girl was still staring at Lexa with wide eyes, clutching her goat who appeared to be struggling. 

"I'm Clarke."

Lexa waited but when the girl didn't elaborate she sighed. "And," she prompted.

"Oh, right. The goat is for Monty. And I climbed, obviously."

"Climbed?!" Lexa exclaimed, "I'm on the twelfth floor!" 

"I'm a good climber." Clarke said.

Lexa sighed, this was definitely cutting into her morning routine and she would no doubt be late for work. "Monty," she muttered, "you say you were looking for Monty?" Lexa asked, louder the second time.

Clarke just nodded, the goat now calm as her hold on it had loosened.

"Do you happen to mean Monty Greene? He lives a floor below me, I see him in the elevator sometimes."

Clarke cursed, "I knew I would mess something up. I have to get there before he wakes up which, thanks to all the screaming, might have already happened." Clarke was scrambling to her feet now, scooping the goat into her arms and heading to the window.

Lexa half wanted to stop her, so many questions still remained.

"Wait!" Lexa cried when Clarke had one leg out the window. "Why don't you just take the elevator? It's so much safer."

Clarke scoffed, "Because everyone locks their front doors, but windows, well no one ever really locks their windows."

With that she dropped out of view. Lexa took a moment to collect herself before scrambling forward. By the time she had stuck her head out the window and looked down, Clarke was at the window below hers, easing up the frame, the goat pinned securely between her chest and the wall. In a flash she was inside and the window was sliding shut, leaving Lexa alone and ten minutes late for work.

\-----------------------------

"Ha, you're late."

"Encouraging as always Anya, please grab the Bronson folder from the cabinet, I need to get this file complete before nine." Lexa dropped her bag by the foot of her desk and sat down, ignoring Anya's smirk.

"I'm just saying, for a boss who gets onto literally everyone else for being late, you walked in like, seven whole minutes late."

Lexa looked up to glare, glad to see that Anya was at least bent over the file cabinet. "I had an unexpected morning."

"What? Did the Discovery channel air another documentary that you forgot to record."

"Hey! That is nothing to joke about. And no, something far more confusing. I woke up and this girl was just sitting in my living room with a goat. A fucking goat Anya. And the weirdest part is that the goat, he was wearing a poncho. Like at least dress your goat in modern fashion. Anyway it was hectic. Oh, can you also call in Morris? I need his opinion on what to tell Jamie when I meet with her later."

"Wait, a girl was in your apartment? Why are you so calm? This doesn't make sense?"

Lexa sighed, she could tell Anya wasn't going to let this go easily. "Listen. Work hard this morning and I promise I will actually take a lunch break and tell you everything."

Anya looked skeptical. "Promise?"

"I promise." Lexa said, looking her in the eye.

"Pinkie promise me then." Anya said, dead serious.

"Anya! This isn't the time! Besides, I haven't done that in years!"

"So that's why your promises have been so shitty lately. I don't know, I kind of feel like lounging around in your office until I get the details, or a legitimate promise."

"Ugh fine!" Lexa thrust out her pinkie for Anya to take. "I pinkie promise."

Anya grinned. "See you at lunch!"

"Call Morris!" Lexa reminded her as the door swung shut. She sighed and slunk down in her chair for a millisecond before straightening back up and picking up the folder. Today was going to be long.

\--------------------------------------------

Clarke stumbled into her own apartment approximately three hours after surprising the shit out of Monty. Granted, she was now majorly hung over but it had been so worth it.

"You're home!" Octavia exclaimed from their small kitchen. "Come on, I'm making pancakes."

Clarke winced and was already starting to think of excuses when another voice chimed in.

"I helped!" Bellamy added, knowing exactly how bad Octavia's baking skills could be.

Octavia quickly handed the spatula off to her brother and ran over to Clarke, pulling her further into the kitchen. "Sooooo how did it go? Did Raven pull through? Did Jasper manage to shut up? Did Monty like the goat?"

"Oh god O, give me a second I'm fucking exhausted."

"Oh, right. Sit right here at the table, I'll get you some juice!" 

Octavia pushed Clarke into a chair and then ran into the kitchen. Clarke shot a confused look at Bellamy who only shrugged. Where Octavia got so much energy was a mystery to them all. 

"Okay," Octavia said, pushing the juice towards Clarke. "Spill."

Clarke made sure to give Octavia a pointed look as she drained the glass before beginning to speak. "Raven pulled through in the way that only Raven Reyes knows how to do. I didn't think goats were cute before this but I sure do now. And the poncho was the perfect fit, Jasper's got some mad sewing skills. Monty loved the goat of course, I left him with Miller so after their picnic at noon will you go get him and bring him back to the farm?"

"Our friends have the weirdest birthday requests." Octavia said with a sigh. "But yea, I can bring him back."

"They really do. Okay but wait I haven't even told you this best part." 

"No! Not even the best part!" Bellamy gasped from the kitchen. 

Clarke rolled her eyes, "I went into the wrong apartment at first."

"What."

"Yea! So at that point I was still pretty drunk, I mean we only stopped drinking at like five am, so I was trying to hold the goat and count floors at the same time and I must have added a floor that wasn't there because I ended up in this apartment above Monty's. So I'm sitting there, happily petting the goat, and this lady walks out and starts screaming at me. It was honestly hilarious and she directed me to the right apartment in the end."

"What the fuck Clakre?" Bellamy asked as he set plates of pancakes down on the table. "You broke into someone's apartment?"

"She seemed to get over it pretty quick."

"Was she cute?" Octavia asked.

Clarke grinned, "Totally."

"Do you think you'll ever see her again?"

Clarke shrugged, " I mean unless I see her around Monty's building I'd say no. I did awkwardly break into her apartment so," Clarke trailed off with another shrug.

Bellamy sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I'm going to bed."

"I second that," Clarke said, stuffing the last of her pancake into her mouth. 

Octavia scoffed, "Losers. I'm going to work out."

If Clarke hadn't of been so dead tired she would have punched her.

\--------------------

"No, you know what the weirdest thing was Anya?"

"You mean despite a twenty year old breaking into your apartment before the sun was really even up?"

"Yea, the worst part is I think I recognize the goat??"

"Lexa."

"No I'm being serious. Like you know how I volunteer at Lincoln's farm, okay well I really think I recognize that goat. She's one of the petting zoo goats, really calm around people. Doesn't like screaming." Lexa added with a pointed look. "She may also happen to be my favorite goat, but you know."

"What goat does like screaming?! And no, I don't know." Anya sighed, "This whole thing is just way too weird."

Lexa shrugged and waved her spoon around, "I'm just saying. I know the goat."

"I swear, every night that I end up not staying over you come back with some crazy ass story. Sometimes I think you make them up."

"I have quite the imagination but even I couldn't think up a goat and a poncho."

"Whatever you say Lexa."

\---------------

Clarke was dreaming that she was climbing the side of the Washington Monument. There were tons of cracks where the mortar had fallen out and she could easily fit her slim fingers in. As she climbed she vaguely heard Raven yelling her name from below. Sparing a glance down, Clarke saw Raven's tiny figure, waving up at her. Clarke shrugged and kept climbing. She loved to feel the warm wind in her hair, she loved the calluses the wall gave her, she even loved the risk of climbing with no safety nets, like her dad did.

Granted, it was his greatest, how would one say, downfall, but for Clarke it was freedom. She was almost to the top when Raven's voice got louder. Huffing Clarke glanced down again and suddenly the ground was much too far away. Surely the monument wasn't that high. Her arms began to shake from holding the position so long and soon the tower was shaking too. More mortar fell out the cracks, followed by several bricks.

Clarke held tight, her heart pounding in fear, as the tower crumbled around her, pulling her down with it.

"Clarke!" Raven said again, shaking her friend's shoulder.

Clarke gasped and sat upright, glancing around her room widely.

"Hey there buddy, you okay?" Raven asked, her hand a soothing presence from where it rested, still on Clarke's shoulder.

"What, oh, yeah. Confusing dream. What time is it?"

"Around two. So it turns our Octavia can't bring the goat back, will you do it? I have class and you know the goat definitely doesn't like Miller. I mean, I don't know how you could not like Miller, it'd be like not liking Monty or puppies with wiggly tails or really fresh bread that's all warm and gluten free or,"

"I can take the goat," Clarke said, mainly to get Raven to stop talking.

"Great!" Raven said. "Octavia's hanging out with him in the park, can you get there by 3?"

Clarke sighed and rubbed at her eyes. That gave her enough time to shower, brush her teeth, probably throw up, then brush her teeth again before she had to get in the car and drive an hour into the countryside. 

"Yea I can do that."

"Perfect. You sure you're okay?"

"Just tired, I did have a busy night you know."

Raven grinned and Clarke knew she had bought it. "Okay, text me when he's home safe and sound."

"Will do." 

Raven left Clarke's room, her mind already focused on yelling at Bellamy to see if there were any pancakes left. Apparently there were not. Clarke rolled out of bed and slowly stretched her back, then her arms and finally her neck, grinning when it popped pleasingly. 

She padded into the bathroom she and Octavia shared, ready to wash away the smell of last night. After sniffing her arm she decided that she'd probably have to change her sheets too. She shut the door and clicked on the light, looking herself over in the bathroom mirror. Her hair was a mess and her eyes wide. There was a sort of smudge down her left cheek that she highly suspected was Octavia's mascara. That shit got everywhere. 

She closed her eyes slowly then opened them again, trying to get her dream out of her head. Sometimes climbing wasn't so freeing after all.

\------------------------------

Clean and refreshed, Clarke threw on a light top and some shorts before heading to the park to find Octavia. 

"Hey kid," she said as she pulled up to the sidewalk where Octavia was otherwise engaged. "Wanna buy some drugs?"

"Depends on what type your selling." Octavia said without looking back.

"I'll cut you a deal. I'll give you five pixie sticks if you trade me that goat."

"I don't know mister, this goat is pretty special to me. I think he's worth at least seven pixie sticks."

Clarke grinned, "You drive a hard bargain, but I'll accept."

Octavia finally stood up, leading the goat, who she had named Nico, over to Clarke's car.

"So let's be real, do you really have pixie sticks?"

"You mean the powdered candy? No?"

"Damn," Octavia muttered, staring at the ground. "You really got me excited."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Next time I'm at the store I'll pick you up some pixie sticks. Do you need a ride home?"

"Nah I'm good, I'm going to walk over and see Monty. Good luck with the goat."

"Thanks!" Clarke called as Octavia began jogging away. 

With Nico safely strapped into the little contraption that Raven had built, Clarke pulled back onto the road and was on her way.

\----------------------------

There were few things Lexa liked more than rolling down all her windows and driving fast down a long road. Driving out to the farm was like that. She didn't visit often, mainly because the drive was so long and she didn't really have time outside of work, which often made her long overdue for said visit.

Today was clear and sunny, the last traces of winter were disappearing beneath the hot sun, but the breeze was still cool against Lexa's hand, which was of course flung out the window. She pulled her hand back in as she approached the farm land, focusing on the several sharp curves that were in the road. She liked to duck her head low and pretend she was driving a race car, knowing each curve before it appeared through the trees, feeling for the apex, letting off the break right at the swing of the curve and then pressing the gas hard, shooting towards the next one. It was Anya who had taught her to drive out here, and the turns she once found terrifying were now nothing more than a soft thrill. 

Lexa slowed considerably as she neared the farm, knowing that more often than not one of the animals was running loose. She pulled into the patch of dirt designated for parking and rolled her windows up before climbing out. It looked pretty empty so she headed towards the small house that stood out next to the barn.

"Lincoln?" She called, picking her way through the tall grass.

"I'm in the back," Lincoln called back, so Lexa made her way around the house.

As she approached Lincoln looked up at her, his face full of joy. 

"Miri gave birth," He said, holding up a tiny kitten that was cradled ever so carefully in his hands.

"Oh my god," Lexa said, sinking to her knees. There were five kittens in all, each just as fuzzy and tiny as the last.

Miri herself was curled up in a sun warmed box, and Lincoln was careful to place the kitten back gently by her side.

"They're so precious," Lincoln said with a sniff.

"You are not crying. You literally see animals born at least once every three months." Lexa couldn't believe him.

"Lexa!" Lincoln exclaimed. "This is Miri. The cat I raised from a kitten. I was there at her birth, this means I'm a grandfather now. I think I need a moment."

Lexa rolled her eyes as Lincoln continued to gaze down at the kittens.

"Come on Grandpa, I'm sure you have other animals to tend to and Mama Miri will be fine."

"Mama Miri," Lincoln said, "I like that. Grandpa, not so much."

"You said it first."

Lincoln stood then reached a hand to help Lexa up. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Lexa frowned, she didn't know quite how to explain it. "I just wanted to check up on you, the animals, you know."

"Well since you're here you can help me feed them, it's probably time anyway."

"I actually wanted to check on the goats, I saw this girl with a goat who looked so much like Ria that I could have sworn it was her. But I mean, that's crazy."

"Where'd you see this goat?" Lincoln asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay so don't freak out, because you know I can kick yours and anyone else's ass, but this girl broke into my apartment with a goat that she meant to surprise her friend with but it turned out she had the wrong apartment. And the goat just looked a lot like Ria."

Lincoln frowned. "Okay well that's strange because remember Octavia, that girl I'm dating?"

Lexa nodded.

"Well the other day she asked me if she could borrow a goat, one of the kids, to surprise her friend, and knowing how gentle and chill Ria is I sort of lent her out."

"Holy shit. Is she back?"

"Uh, not yet."

"Did you have to think about that?" Lexa asked with a grin.

"No." Lincoln said, stubbornly. "Weren't you here to help?" He asked, quickly changing the subject.

Lexa sighed but nodded, rolling up her sleeves as she followed him into the barn.

\---------------------

The road was fucking. Terrifying. Clarke didn't know how people out here managed to drive it every day. The twists and turns were hap-hazardous and the sides of the road dropped off into steep ditches. Clarke was sticking to the middle of the road as best she could, praying that someone didn't come along from the other direction.

She breathed a sigh of relief when her phone announced that her destination was approaching on the right. After sparing a glance towards Nico to make sure he was okay Clarke pulled slowly into the farm. She parked next to the only other car in sight and got out before making her way to the passenger side. 

It took a while but she finally managed to unbuckle Nico from his 'seat belt' and set him on the ground, making sure that the rope she had loosely tied around his neck was secure but not uncomfortable. After a lot of coaxing she managed to get him trundling along in the general direction of the barn. 

"Hello?" Clarke called out.

"Back here!" Came a distant voice.

Urging Nico along, Clarke followed the edge of the barn until she came upon two people in the back, apparently playing catch with another goat.

"Lincoln?" Clarke asked, hoping this was the guy Octavia had described.

They both turned around and Clarke narrowed her eyes. The girl looked strangely familiar. 

"Clarke?" The boy asked.

"Ria!" The girl exclaimed.

Nico began pulling on his leash so Clarke quickly unbound it. The little goat gave a happy kick and bounced his way over to the girl.

Lincoln jogged over. "Thanks for bringing her back," he said with a wide grin. "I'd shake your hand but my hands are a bit, well," he waved them around and Clarke saw they were streaked with dust.

"It's fine. Octavia says she's sorry she couldn't bring, him? Now I'm confused, Octavia named the goat Nico."

Lincoln laughed, and Clarke could really see why Octavia liked him.

"Oh no," he said. "That's Ria. Or Alexandria the Second. Named her after Lexa there." He gestured with his thumb and Clarke turned to see the girl now playing fetch with two goats.

"Goats can play fetch?" Clarke asked.

"Well, a version of it. Say, why'd you need Ria anyway?"

"Oh, we surprised our friend for his birthday."

Lincoln nodded, "That's what I thought Octavia had said. I assume it went well?"

"There was a hitch or two but overall he was really surprised."

Lexa came jogging over, Ria trotting happily behind her. "I think we exercised Nike enough, I made sure she was back in her pen."

Clarke stared at the girl's face, trying hard to place it. Suddenly she gasped. "It was your apartment!"

Lexa looked startled. "You're the girl who broke into my apartment!"

"I am so sorry." Clarke said. "I can't believe it's your goat I had. I mean, imagine the odds."

"Well she's technically not mine," Lexa explained. "She's just named after me."

"Wait," Lincoln said. "You're the one who broke into Lexa's apartment? How??"

"Oh, I climbed."

"Lexa lives on the twelfth floor."

Clarke shrugged, "I'm a good climber. Anyway, thanks for letting us borrow your goat."

"Anytime." Lincoln said. A large bang and a harmony of goat bleating from inside the barn had Lincoln sighing. "I'd better go check on that. Nice meeting you Clarke." 

Clarke grinned and waved, "Nice to meet you too." She turned to Lexa and raised an eyebrow. "You named a goat after yourself?"

Lexa blushed, "Well not technically. After she was born she literally followed me around every time I came down here. Lincoln started calling her Mini Lexa but then decide to lengthen it to my full name. Now we just call her Ria."

"Alexandria the Second is quite the mouthful."

"I'd be inclined to agree. Anyway, thanks for bringing her home safely. Did everything work out with Monty?"

Clarke grinned, "It went great. Personally I thought the whole sneaking in the window was a bit much, but Raven, my friend, likes to go all out in the planning so I agreed."

"Do you scale the side of buildings often?" Lexa asked with a grin.

Clarke's smiled softened into a small frown, "I used to, but I try to avoid it now."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's no problem, when Raven asks for something I feel inclined to say yes. She used to climb with me but she got hurt and ever since there's been this fear in me. I mean I love it, don't get me wrong, but," Clarke trailed off and shrugged.

Lexa nodded, "I understand." Then she grinned. "Next time you want to break in feel free to just knock on the door, I'll gladly open it to save you the climb."

Clarke raised an eyebrow, "Next time?"

It was Lexa's turn to blush. "Well, I mean, you know,"

Clarke laughed, "We can always start with coffee, not much climbing involved there."

Lexa grinned, "Coffee sounds great. Can I get your number?"

"Oh! Of course," Clarke pulled her phone out of her pocket and unlocked it before handing it over. 

Lexa quickly typed in her number and handed it back. 

"I'll text you when I get home then." Clarke said.

"I'll look forward to it."

"Will you thank Lincoln again for me?"

"Of course, drive safe." Lexa said with a small wave.

"You too."

They stood there for a moment, grinning at each other, before Clarke finally waved and turned to walk towards her car. As soon as she was out of view Lexa dropped down to rub Ria's head. 

"Looks like you got me a hot date."

\----------------------------------

"And just where are you going young lady?" Raven asked from her seat on the couch.

Clarke froze, her hand on the door. She had been so close. "Oh, you know, out."

"This isn't a cheesy coming of age movie. 'Out' isn't gonna cut it."

Clarke sighed, "I have a date." It had been a week since she had met Lexa and they were finally going on their coffee date. 

Raven gasped, "And you didn't tell me!?"

"Raven! I'm gonna be late."

"Fine. How'd you meet them?"

Clarke took a split second to decide that she would get out of the apartment faster if she just told the truth. "Last Thursday when I was supposed to sneak the goat into Monty's apartment I accidentally went into the wrong one first and saw this girl, then on Friday when I delivered the goat, who is actually a girl named Alexandria the Second, I saw the girl again, her name is Lexa by the way, and it turned out to be her goat, sort of, anyway we got talking and she's really cute, Raven please, I have to go."

"Well don't bother breathing between sentences or anything."

"Raven!" 

"Fine, fine. But I expect a full report when you get back."

"Yes, okay bye."

"Love you!" Raven called.

Clarke just glared but Raven grinned, she knew it was the love glare.

Clarke flew down the steps and into her car. She was going to pick Lexa up at her building and take her to the little coffee shop Bellamy owned. She ran the risk of someone, like Octavia, seeing her and making a commotion but the coffee was good and Bellamy gave her a discount so it was worth it.

As she pulled up to Lexa's building and parked her car she noticed a text flashing on her phone.

RaeBae (1:01 pm): ur welcome btw. u kno, i am basiclly responsinble for getting you two togeter. it WAS my idea and all ;)

Eliiiiiiiizaaaaa (werk) (1:08 pm): fuck u. work on ur spelling it sucks.

Clarke tossed her phone into her center console and got out the car, straightening her shirt and running a hand through her hair. She could thank Raven later. Right now she had a date to rock.

**Author's Note:**

> 1) this is largely unedited but my glasses r out of prescription and I cant stare at words very long sorry  
> 2) I actually started this around the same time I was writing hodness laik kwelness but got wrapped up in that. then I came back to the document, deleted the whole thing, and started again  
> 3) im planning another multi chapter clexa fic that im super excited about so hopefully thatll be up within the next two weeks


End file.
